UNCEASING & VEHICULAR

Up early and out of the 'hostel'... a term I use very loosely, as  I do have better words that I can think of... but we can go with 'hostel' to keep it creditable (on my end, anyway.)

So the little midge/mosquitos bites that I got the other day... I think I probably have Malaria now.  They started off as little bites... itchy... normal.  They escalated to red bumps... itchy once again... then on to small blisters... ... oozing maybe Malaria?... and now they have turned into nasty little disfiguring lesions.  And ONLY on my ankles.  Perhaps some mosquito net socks might have done the trick.

Are stomach cramps a sign of having Malaria?
No... I think that's the ever-developing constipation again...
God... the things our bodies go through when one toilet breaks...

We stopped at a local restaurant while we were waiting for the car parking area to open.   Pan con queso, cafe, jugo... heuvos... (bread with cheese, coffee, juice, eggs) the usual breakfast delights.

Grabbed the car and skedaddled out of Cuenca pronto.  I was going to suggest a quick stop to Banos, but I think Mari was done with the tourist part of the weekend.  I didn't want to push it.

The ride home wasn't as foggy as the ride there.
Don't get me wrong... there was fog... but it was nowhere near as hazardous as it had been a couple days prior.

I spent a lot of time taking photos out of the window,
 to capture the country life of Ecuador.

There were definitely moments of alarming and pure hair-standing-on-end... Mari has a little bit of a heavy foot when it comes to the break pedal, and we followed a bus so closely for most of the trip, that I thought, for a time period, we might as well be ON the bus.

I spent a lot of the time, staring out the window and trying to capture some shots of the typical country life outside the city, as we zoomed by.  Definitely not particularly professional shots, but I think I fared well considering I was sitting in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle.

Definitely NOT Oliver Twist...

When we finally arrived back home at La Joya in Guayaquil, most definitely , the largest lunch I've ever seen was awaiting me!  A daily conversation here is how much I eat.... and believe me, I'm not starving, nor am I fading away at a rapid pace (as one would hope.)  I honestly believe that Mami wants to double my portion to ensure that I don't mysteriously vanish... Between the sitting and the eating, no wonder I tower over everyone.  Indisputably, I'm Brienne of Tar.

I have come to accept the fact that no matter how many times we cover a certain subject, no matter what I do or don't do, or how much I eat or don't eat, we are always going to discuss;

1. Eat more! Por favor!!! Eat!
2. When are you getting married?
3. Why don't you want children? WHY???
4. Please have a baby and give it to me. (Mami)
5. When are you coming back to Ecuador?
6. You like beer?

To these, I respond (daily)...

1. I'm full.  Please don't make me eat anymore.
2. I'm never going to get married unless I'm desperate for a party, gifts and some money.  So... maybe soon... who knows?
3. I'm too selfish for children.  Potzy is my son.
4. Believe me, if I have a baby, you can have it.
5. Why don't we get this trip over with before I start planning to come back.?  Aren't you sick of me yet?
6. Nope... I don't like beer much at all... I like wine.  In fact, I'm addicted.

Usually I leave the 'addicted' part out...

After lunch, I was helping with the dishes, which is also a struggle, because I think that Mami feels she needs to wait on me hand and foot.  I have to literally force myself in to the kitchen.  I think I've really impressed everyone with my ability to carry many plates in one hand. Hospitality experience pulls through once again.

I had asked Mari earlier what the plan was with the car rental when we returned to Guayaquil, and her exact words (and I quote) were, 

"Probably I return the car and then take the bus back home."

That was the plan. Sounded good to me.  Bueno.

The part that I wasn't aware of... whether it be due to appalling miscommunication, my only selfish disregard or sudden change of plan.... was that I was also involved in the 'return the car/bus' arrangement... and going along for the ride... again...

You can imagine the pure horror when I found out...

"Noooo... por favour! Noooo.  En serio????"  (translation- "No... please! No. Seriously?)

I didn't intend to be rude, it was just the initial reaction to having to return to the car again.  But... yes, to be polite, and save face from my immature little outburst... I went along.

I tried to take my computer along for the ride, so that I could, at the very least, catch up on a couple days written adventure, but Mami made me put it back in the house, for fear that someone might steal it while we were on the bus.

Half an hour ride to the airport rental car location.
Another 40 minutes for them to look the car over for damage, fill out rental return forms and rip up unused authorizations.

Then the bus...

We walked a little ways to the actual airport and caught the first bus from there.  When I say 'first bus'... there were 3.
Half hour on this one, got off, walked a bit, missed the next bus, waited longer, boarded the second bus... rode another 20 minutes.... got off, walked a bit, got on a shuttle bus... got off, walked a bit.

My question of the day was;

"Would a taxi not have been twice the price, yet 1/4 of the time and 100% less hassle?"

I was only met with laughter and "muy caro, Joanna!"

On bus #1

Home again, home again, jiggity jig...  

In total, it took us 2 & 1/2 round trip.  Don't get me wrong, it was quite the experience being back on the local buses again.  But I think it's less of a bus ride, and more of an experiment in human sardine packing, if you ask me.

Tomorrow, come hell or high water, I refuse to get in a car.  Wild horses couldn't drag me.  I will be walking and standing the entire day away.  Mark my words...

Sitting here now, writing... there are dogs barking, alarms going off... Sometimes I think that this gated community is a cross between the dog pound and burglary planet.

LET ME EXPLAIN YOU WHY

One of the things that I desperately wanted to do while I was in Ecuador again was ride the train.  
Not just any old, boring train... and not just to any location.  I wanted to ride The Devil's Nose train.

Nariz del Diablo

When I was in Ecuador 26 years ago, I'm not quite sure where we boarded this train- but I do know that our final destination was Riobamba.

The praiseworthy thing about this particular train ride was that our group not only got the experience of riding IN the train, but we got to ride on TOP of this train.  Through all the mountains, the zig-zags, the tunnels, the cliffs, we sat on top for the most dangerous and thrilling parts of  the journey.


We hung off the sides for photo opps, climbed up & down the rail cars ladders, hung out the windows yelling at each other, jumped from train car to train car... all exhilarating stuff back when we were 19 years old.

Looking back at my memory books, the things that really stood out to me was;

• Tim standing up on top of the train.
• The train pulling out of a station, while Anthony was still behind a building relieving himself, and having to run to catch the train.
• Trying to keep our heads down and not breath in while going through the tunnels - black, smokey and boiling hot.
• Stuck inside for a time period next to a very old and smelly woman.

Also, I remember the train being filled with indigenous mountain people, chickens, pigs, bananas... you name it... and us.

Now, planning my second trip to Ecuador, I searched and searched for this particularly dangerous train... desperate to relive this treacherous and life threatening adventure, in my mid-40's... but the description I had in my mind & memories didn't quite fit the description of any of the tourist tours I found.  Then I discovered why.

In 2010, a tunnel cable dropped, and ended up decapitating two Japanese tourists.  It makes me cringe considering that we went through the tunnels, living life on the edge, lifting up our heads and trying to breathe through all the smoke and darkness...

Understandably so, after this appalling incident, there had to be a serious upgrade to the Ecuadorian rail system.  No more 'on top' of the train.

Looking back at the 'good ole days,' I'm actually quite proud that I lived to tell the stories of when caution was thrown to the wind.  Now saying that, I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to say that there are huge rules and restrictions implemented now.  Look at the base boards for one of the bridges we had to cross!


Anyway - our tour began at 7:00am... actually the van was slightly late... 7:10am.  Waiting... outside... in the rain.   No tip!

Me... desperately trying to be a dare
devil... but I'm too scared to fall in
the river... and there are no hand rails.

Four American couples (2 fantastic older couples that lived here in Ecuador now, 1 young & obnoxious couple from New York and another very quiet, keep-to-themselves couple from South Carolina), Mari, me, and a  Canadian lady from Toronto... who also ended up proving herself to be quite bothersome as well.  To explain further, her phone died... so I offered to charge it on my lap top during one of our many van trips.  This, to her, was suddenly an open invitation to charge her phone on my computer at every stop... 

Some photos I took in Alausi at the local market

From the moment we got picked up, we had a 3 hour journey ahead of us to Alausi, were we would board the train.  Just what I wanted, more travel time.  My ass deserves a prize for "Most Compliant."


The New York weirdo was behind me for the entire van trip, and I don't know if he was sleep talking, singing or following along with some kind of a lecture, but it almost seemed like he was trying to whisper confidential information to me... give out secret coordinates.  I almost turned around and asked him to shut up.. but finally just decided to try and ignore it.  At one point, I heard his girlfriend say, "What are you saying?"

Selfie - Me, Mari and Jesus!
Look closely!

We only had 20 minutes in Alausi before boarding the train... and there was a small market there. Quick look around, back to the station and All Aboard!

Our rail car was almost full, but not really.  Mari and I ended up switching to single seats so that we both had a view when the train started chugging along.  It ended up being breathtaking - volcanoes, waterfalls, lush valley river bottoms... 

The tour was a section of tracks around a mountain  that requires the train to reverse directions several times to zig-zag down steep sections.  It's quite the impressive and technical procedure!  At a few points, I figured that the train was just going to topple over the edge and that would 
be the end of us.  At every turn of the track, the scenery would be on one side or another... and that's where everyone would flock. Seemed a smidge bit too lopsided for my liking and a smidge bit too lopsided to be able to maintain upright stability on the tracks.  I tried to even out the weight proportions by occasionally staying on the opposite side of the rail car while everyone was hanging out the windows taking photos... and we aren't dead... so I think it worked.

No one thanked me.

The Devil's Nose

But... everywhere that I go, there is always someone who takes their traveling experience to a level of 'let's throw it in everyone's face' and to be sure, this trip was no exception to the rule.  This one girl... let's call her 'the photographer'... huge expensive camera hanging around her neck, khaki pants, hair in a pony tail, fanny pack, acting like National Geographic sent her on this trip... 

One of those "If I get 10 photos out of a 1000, I'll be so happy" people.  You know the kind...
Hogs the view the entire time because she obviously looks like a professional.  Capture this... capture that...

How to tell that she's not a professional?
She kept announcing how amazing her photo album was going to be.  

Photo albums are sooooo 90's...  get a cell phone, bitch.  No one cares.

My main concern was not dropping my iPhone in to the unknown... her main concern was letting us all know NOT to let her mother know that she was hanging out the window to capture the perfect shot.

"Don't tell my mom I'm hanging out the window."  

"Don't tell my mom that I attempted that shot!"

After listening to that for 2 hours, I finally blurted out;

"I already told her."

Shut up. 

Then she found a friend... a fellow 'photographer', though, he was slightly more amateur that she was.  He appeared to have nothing more than a cheap flip phone with an video app... and he used it the entire journey.  Then the race was on, they compared notes on photography shading & shadowing & capturing difficult shots and shared stories & adventures... and when I say 'they,' I mean all of us, because we were all subject to the irritation.  No one got out alive. Commence eye roll immediately...

Mari and I did take lots of photos, despite the Nariz del Diablo paparazzi. We managed to squeeze our way in to a portion of the windows that weren't being using to capture dangerous shots, selfies and exciting, top of the line video footage.

Then one of the ladies on the train came right up to me and said, 

"You know why it's called the Devils Nose?" 

No.

"It's because everyone knows that the Devil doesn't like sulphur."

Well, I guess NOW everyone knows.. because that is something I didn't learn in school.


Back at Alausi... lunch time.
Soup to start... with cilantro in it.
Chicken, mashed potatoes and salad with cilantro in it.  You can imagine my facial expression... Do not venture in to Ecuador if you do not like cilantro!  Finally warning... they put it in everything.

But... I endured the pain of the taste because I am a multi-cultural woman, who doesn't complain... often.

After lunch, we checked out the local market again and I ended up buying a couple alpaca scarfs... really beautiful and soft.

I must admit that I've spent most of my time in the local markets purchasing things for others... so I decided that it was high time I finally purchase something for myself!

Next stop: Ingapirca... It took 2 hours to get there after the train trip and  I think that everyone on the van fell asleep (excluding Secret Agent man behind me.)

Mari and I went to Ingapirca together, with the entire family, 26 years ago... but like Cuenca, neither of us remember anything.

The tour guide was amazing.  I had to laugh, because he kept telling us stories, history, folklore... and it all began with "Let me explain you why"... hence the name of this blog.

Ingapirca is the largest known Inca ruins in Ecuador and the the biggest and most significant is the Temple of the Sun.  The people that lived here were sun and moon worshipers and hosted ritual celebrations, believing that they needed to be as close to the Gods as possible.  

Then and now!

They would make sacrifices to the Gods- animals usually, but even small children at times if they believed that the Gods were upset with them (due to a volcano or horrible weather.)  It was really interesting... but freezing and raining almost the entire time we were there.  Thank God for my one and only outfit for these conditions.  

A lot of the site is now in ruins, because back in the 1950's and 60's, it was common practice for the people of the nearby town to come and collect the stones to use as foundation for building their homes.  Some of the boulders have now been returned, but no one knows exactly where they came from on site.

Back at the hostel, that night, everything was in the same order as we had left it....  We decided to just stay the extra night because we were tired. My 'money is no object' frame of mind was tossed out the window due to fatigue and indifference.

I kept waking up in the night though, very much doubting the pillows that my head lay on.  

If I get lice... who is going to help me get the bugs out???

On her phone...

Trying to find a place to have dinner was a challenge as almost everything in the city was closed (Sunday), but we managed to find a cute little restaurant in the Historical Centre.  I had draped myself in my lovely new alpaca scarf... for warmth and style.  Feeling quite pretty and extra confident in my new trendy & classy purchase.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I removed my jacket and my scarf to get comfortable.  Mari almost immediately yelped,

"Joanna... que paso?"

Better start being real nice to me because I've got 2 beautiful, alpaca wool scarves for give-away because they turn my neck an attractive shade of bumpy rash red. 

I finally buy something amazing for myself... and I'm allergic.

At least now, when I have to fill out those medical forms at massage clinics and doctor's offices, and they ask me to to fill in the allergies I have... I can write alpaca.

CUENCA OR BUST

The reason that I am so late with my blog postings lately is because I have to drive in a car... a lot.

Not kidding.

My ass will never heal.

OMG what a day.

Ok... the car-rental fiasco sorted itself out.  Fingers crossed... still!  Finally got the car... ready to go.

When I say that we 'got' the car,  I meant that I had to sign my name to about 700 documents... and I felt like I was signing my life away.   Well, my credit card anyway.  They kept phoning to confirm my credit card number and limit for a bunch of those old fashioned 'clunk clunk' machine verifications.  One, I think, was in case of any damage that may occur on the trip.  This one, they assured me, would be ripped up the moment the car was returned in one piece.   The second, they supposedly keep on file for a month, in case we get in to trouble with the police...

God forbid.

Note to self: make sure they rip up that authorization in a month.

I kept telling everyone that I was able to drive... but they kept telling me that I don't know how to drive here... but I assure you, I do.  Perhaps it's slightly crazier than the traffic and rules that I've grown accustomed to, but I think that if I'm schooled quickly on how to lay on the horn and yell from time to time, I'll make it on the streets here.

The dream of the drive will have to die with me.

I went out with Duval and Pamela last night. They took me to Puerto Santa Ana and it was fantastic. I am really impressed at the up and coming Guayaquil that I have encountered.  I remember a very dirty, dangerous city... but not anymore.

They had some beers (I had wine) - we laughed and miscommunicated a lot but... it turned out to be a really fun evening.  I had to have a bit of a laugh because I would never point at myself if we had to name a woman of high fashion or intelligence... but I do pride myself on having the smarts not to wear high heals clogs on cobblestones.  And cobblestones, they were!

Pamela, Duvalito y yo!

Point for Jo.

At one point during the evening, we started talking about the weekend trip that Mari and I were going on.  Through thoroughly broken communication, I fully understood that Duval said something along the lines of Saturday is Ingapirca and Sunday is the Train Tour."

Uh... nope... sorry, but you've got it wrong... 

Yes... 

No... once again... you're wrong... 

It went back and forth for a bit, but I held my ground, as I’d been the actual person who booked the tour…in English.   And I’d also been staring at the possibility of booking it for a couple months.

Finally I pulled out my phone and (regardless of the lack of internet connection, a confirmation email was in my in-box from earlier.)   

See?  
I pretty much shoved my phone in his face...

Train & Ingapirca - same tour - same day.

Oooohhhh... 

I insisted that he phone Mari immediately because the last thing I needed was for this to end up being a mis-communicated confusing mess of going to Ingapirca twice...

Dios mio!

I have no idea how Mari was equally as confused, considering she was right beside me, reading about the entire tour in Spanish AS I booked it.  And all the confirmations for the tour, the hostel... everything, I forwarded on to her as well.

I was wondering why the blank stares, when I would say things like "Maybe we can walk around the city for a bit... and maybe go to Banos for a few hours?" ... and I'd get a response like "probably no time... maybe in the night."

Huh?

I just sat there wondering what we were going to do with all our time, considering we were planning on leaving at 10am and it took 3.5 hours to get there.

Ok - so huge weekend trip problem number one diverted, thanks to me and my multi-lingual problem-solving go-go Gadget abilities.

Our car had a GPS... and when I say "Our car had..." it actually means that we had one in the car, but still Mari asked people on the street if we were heading in the right direction.

Just follow the purple line on the little screen... don't bug people...Follow the f'in purple line.

The road to Cuenca was .... well, interesting.

At first, fun and picturesque.  Driving though the little towns, seeing the banana trees, mangos, fruit stands... etc...

I took a few photos.

Of course, whenever I take a photo of someone selling something, I feel obligated to buy something. So I bought a stack of verdes for Mami... which is about 25 green plantains.  Looks like we will be eating this every day for the next week. They were only $1... how could I resist?

It was a really lush climb up... but a very sharp, curvy mountain road which made me happy that I wasn't driving (although I'll never admit it!)  Gorgeous views... 

Lovely...

As we gained altitude, it got drier and the walls of rock formations along the side of the road started to resemble a collection of angry ape faces.  

Then the fog hit.

It was so dense that it made it almost impossible to see.  It was very reminiscent of being in a snow storm in Roger's Pass and having to open your driver's side  door to follow the yellow line.  That's how bad it was.

I would also like to say "Thank God it was a paved road," but I think that the word 'paved' could be discretionary... 

Super shit

A lot of it was 'paved,' but we can't forget about the mud, potholes, gravel, rockslides, boulders...

Not to mention the people just walking along the side of the road, the farm animals here and there, and the occasional truck just stopped, willy nilly.

I had to pee mucho during the ride because I thought it might be a good idea to guzzle 4 bottles of water.

It was really hot... but turned really cold quickly.  I almost wanted to turn the heat on in the car.

When we arrived , it was a bit of another stress induced factor trying to find our hostel.  Winding our way through narrow one-way streets... drove around and around and around.

Finally I took over. 

Turn left.  NO!  Turn left...

FINALLY... we found the little door that led in to the hostel.

Ok... I don't mean any disrespect... actually, maybe I do.  

This place was a dive.
#shithole

I'll bring you back to yesterday when we booked, ok?

I was online, perusing different locations to stay at... and had actually picked out quite a few.  There were some really nice ones, centrally located, beautiful views... breakfast included...

Mari said "No.. only for 2 nights. Muy caro." (translation: Too expensive)

True... we were driving in... sleeping... tour... sleeping... gone. 

Ok- Then I found a place that looked "not bad."  Quite quaint actually...

How about this place? It's only $7... two twin beds.

Fine. Booked. Done.

Little bit of bling bling. The lady at
the market thought that I was
actually going to buy it!

Then the 'arrival at the hostel' part of the day comes in to play... and it's not the dream vacation world they presented to the world on the internet.

First- they only take cash. 

Sketch.

Second - when they showed us to our room, it was DIRTY!  We had to sit there while they made the beds.  And that was all they did.  I kept staring at the floor and the table thinking .. sweep? vacuum? wipe?.... 

I had to let it go though... it's only $7... 

No private bathroom either... but it's only $7.

Might I add that the bathroom is a teeny weeny room under the stairs... like where the little people live.

They handed us both towels, that I can only assume were left over from the early 1970's.  Thin, small... more like the rags you pull out to wash your car or clean up when your dog accidentally pees on the linoleum. 

Flower Market in Cuenca

Finally they got the beds made and off we went to explore Cuenca.

Hold on, NO... I'm lying... wait... we couldn't go explore Cuenca... because the door wouldn't lock.  And the reason it wouldn't lock was because there was a major hole in the frame where one would only assume that the lock would normally go.  Close the door... the door swings open... slam close the door... the door swings open...

Security at it's finest.

They told us that they "had no idea"...

Ya.

I'd only been there 7 minutes and already, I thought I had lice.

At least I'd forgotten about my itchy ankles and was now just concentrating on scratching my head.

Need to change rooms immediately.   

I also could've really used some wine too.

See? Pallet... wheels... shit

My bed was like compressed sawdust... and had been placed on a pallet frame with wheels.  I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall to do some writing and my bed wheeled away on me!  I almost fell between the crevice of the bed and the wall.  Thank God for my micro-speed reflexes.

And it's cold again.

I had to sleep with my jacket on.

Speaking of cold... Cuenca is at a higher elevation, so guess what that means?  ... the one and only outfit comes out!  

It was like being reunited with an old friend.

You again.

My friend, Dorothy, gave me the advice of 'half the clothes, double the money'... but unfortunately she was about a week too late with this guidance.  So I'm going to start a Go Fund Me page.  Send money now... I only have one outfit for colder climates.  I really think it'll appeal to the affluent and generous.

Some hippy was upstairs wailing on his guitar.  Sirens kept going off.  Cars honking.  People yelling.  I could hear the person in the room next door sneezing. I hated this place.

I realize that I am such a complainer.  I think it's just because it was  raining & cold, and I was tired, and my ankles itched, and it was loud, and my bum hurt, and my whole body felt like it was a nesting bed for small bugs... that's all.

No biggie.

Guess it's not THAT bad here... if you like fleas and dirty stuff.

I decided then and there that we were definitely NOT staying another night in this hole, so I started researching other places around the city... and I had the "money is no object" frame of mind.  Usually I never ever enter in to that frame of mind... unless there is wine involved.

Cuenca Photo now and Cuenca Photo then!

Then Mari had a bit of a freak out about the tour we were taking in the morning.

Did they know where our hostel is?  I think so.

Did I tell them the address? Pretty sure I did... but you know when someone questions you, you suddenly start to doubt yourself.

I think I told them the address... but I don't really remember. 

God, I don't remember how many bananas I ate yesterday.  

So then she wanted to see every email and verification... and is desperately trying to phone them, to no avail.

Not sure exactly when these were, but 
regardless, I think that we can all agree 
that I can pretty much rock 
white pants atany time of the year.

Life is suddenly turning mucho chaotico rapido... so I decide to send the company an email and ask them to call Mari.  They did... all is fine... they were set to come pick us both up at 7am... stress over.

When people ask me why I travel alone, this is why.  If I screw up, I'm usually only responsible for my own mess. 

We walked around Cuenca and neither of us remember a single thing.  Took some photos, had some food, filled each other in on the past 26 years via Google Translate and a bottle of red...

It's funny to think that 26 years have passed. In that time frame, I have traveled through Europe and Australia.  September 11th happened... along with the 2004 Tsunami. John Candy, Mother Theresa, Michael Jackson and Princess Diana have died... to just mention a few.  When I was in Ecuador, Pablo Escobar was at the height of his drug empire in Columbia...

Of course, not much has changed with me... I'm still that broke, clumsy, silly ole drunk I've always been.

Cheers!